Epic Erotica

The Knights of Cunnilingus

In the days of yore, when the mores of society were quite different, the ladies in waiting were all veiled, and were covered from head to foot when a suitor came to town to choose one.   They would all sit at a long table, and the suitor would crawl under the table, under the skirts of each, one by one, sniffing each at good length, before choosing the one to carry off as his bride.  
   Of course, sometimes there was a bit of foul play here. And I'm not talking about smells.  There were sometimes grannies or older women whose husbands had long ago perished in some war.  And they'd don a veil and sit at the table also, hoping they'd get picked again.
      For the guys, it was sort of the earliest rendition of 'scratch and sniff'.  Some men really won the lottery and got a most excellent wife that way.
   In some towns, the suitor had to be stark naked under the table, and a judge would closely watch. Whichever girl's snatch caused this suitor's manhood to jump and throb the highest, that was the girl he was to wed. It was like a weather vane for love.
       In some medieval towns, you could do more than just sniff.  You could eat her out, right under the table. Take a taste test. (While the women above ate their porridge unwaveringly.) Then go on to the next woman, under her skirts.  See which one tasted best, then put your money down, give it to her pa,  throw the maid over your shoulder and take your new wife back to your castle.
  I would have chosen one of those towns, frankly, to do my courting in.

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